Managing “decision regret”

When we’ve made a decision, one thing that prevents us from being present and confident with our choice is our tendency to experience decision regret.

As soon as we experience friction in connection with a decision, our mind tends to romanticize what it would have been like had we made a different choice.

It tells us that the “other” reality - the one we didn’t choose - would have been much better.

We beat up on ourselves for not having made the “right” choice.

And we do this all day long with decisions we make, both big and small.

But consider this:

Our longing for what it would have been like to experience ”the other options” is really a projection of an alternate, romanticized reality based purely on assumptions.

It may appear that the “other options” would have been better, but we have no basis in reality to assume or believe it would have actually turned out that way.

Our minds take us there because the thought of what it would have been like to make these other choices feels safe and comfortable.

We can make up any story we want about how great that alternate reality would have been because we tend to leave out the friction we would have encountered had we chosen another option.

When we’re caught up in decision regret, we lose the ability to own our decisions - as well as every other decision that comes after it.

In other words, every moment we spend sitting in regret about a past decision is a moment we can’t devote to making an informed decision about what do to next.

Try this:

If you want to shift your mindset around decisions, start by recognizing when you’re sitting in a place of decision regret.

Catch yourself when you’re looking back at a decision and beating up on yourself for a past choice.

Next, when you catch yourself experiencing decision regret, shift your focus toward this concept: How can I make my next decision based on the best information I have at that moment?

Instead of letting your mind take you to a place where you’re paralyzed by the fear that you’ll make a wrong decision, remind yourself that all you can ever do is make a decision based on the best information you have at the time.

Remember that you can’t evaluate a past decision based on a current set of information. These two different realities will never sync up.

When you realize all you can ever do is make a decision based on where you are in that moment, then you can access a deeper understanding of who you are and what you need, in that moment.

You flip from being a passive participant and feeling paralyzed by fear to someone who is actively trying to gather as much information as possible so that you can make the next decision with confidence.

Shift your focus from regret to what you’ve learned.

When you internalize what you’ve learned and start to rely on your instincts, the decisions make themselves.

Go have a great workday.